Me: *out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*

Random Old Lady: *comes up out of know where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')

ROL: Isn't he a little old for you?

Me: Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.

Dad: *chokes into his drink*

ROL: You should respect your elders.

Me: You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?

Dad: *chokes on his drink again*

ROL: *storms off*

Dad: *looks at me with a disapproving look*

Me: What?

Dad: Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.

quazza:

what if bodies just had random errors like computers do

you go to receive your starbucks coffee and accidentally punch the barrista in the face then shit on the floor

(via pizza)

radgoku:

please be stoked for your friends when they’ve accomplished something that they worked really hard at even if it’s the most boring ass thing your eyeballs have ever witnessed please please please for their sake just pretend to be excited

(via the-darkness-seems-to-consume-me)